-DARR KE AAGE JEET HAI-

🙋HELLO EVERYONE 🙋

🙏Namaste 🙏

“Yeh zamana besharam hai, na iska dharam hai,
kyun bandhe Hain tu isme bandhagi,
O tere saath tera mann hai, Dil ki Dhadkan hai,
aage badh ke Jilae Zindagi”.
( “This Era is shameless, neither is it’s religion,
Why do you find it closed,
Your heart is with you, Heart is beating,
Go ahead and live”.)
Lyrics- Vilen
Sung by- Vilen

Have you ever been in a situation where you have reason to be happy and also reason of being sad at the same time??
And most of us prefer to be sad.
Why?
I have been in these kind of situation many times. Today, I will be narrating you two self- stories. First, where I was in this situation and preferred to be sad, and due to which I went in acute depression.
And the second where I chose to be happy, to change myself and my life.

That point of my life where everything started changing. I entered in 11th standard. The feeling like a flying bird caught in a cage with a slap (jaise kisi udte panchi ko jhapp se pinjare mein kaed krdiya ho).
I scored 10 CGPA in 10th standard. And like all middle-class parents, mine gave me only two options, whether to choose medical or non- medical ( Reason was my result ). So I chose non- medical. And that wasn’t enough, they got me admitted in JEE scoring institute.
And here the game begins.
I started working hard, because I know my parent were having full faith in me, and I didn’t want to break their trust ( and also, bhai paise bhi toh lagg re thee 😅). In the starting, I scored well, I was studying 13- 14 hours a day, and I think that much study is more than enough. Then as syllabus moved forward, my marks started decreasing. I don’t even know the reason till now, because I studied very hard, I practiced a lot. Now the thing was, that my parents were happy, they never asked me, why am I not scoring, not even once. My friends never asked me, never made fun of me for my results.
But I was getting affected, don’t know why, I was having many reasons to be happy, but my mind was moving in another direction. Then one day, again result was out on the board. I was very happy, that day I was having my Birthday. As I stepped in, I saw a group of three students, making fun of me and my result (Look at the marks of our class topper…hahaha….. she is just useless, only wasting everybody’s time in doubt session…and bla bla….whatever f**k they discussed ). I felt grimaced.
That day was the worst day of my life. I cried for more than an hour in a dark room. But I also never told all this to anyone. From that day, that minute, I was changed, changed from inside. I felt hopeless, like I couldn’t win, like I was been controlled. But controlled by what?
FEAR?

But what kind of?
No one was there for answering my questions, to whom I can share all this, and also I never wanted. It’s my life and no one can handle this, except me. I tried many times to kill myself. But at the same time I thought, if survived, who will answer (and also the hospital bills- obviously 😅😂)?
Then after taking months to gain courage, I decided to leave the institute. It took time to convince my parents but at last, I ended all this. But this fear never ended.

Humans have the most sophisticated minds in the history of the planet and we have these complex minds, because, we live in a complex world.
We all have fear of something. But have you ever thought where does it come from. We have fear, but of what?? I also never thought of that, before I had my second experience.

Fast forwarded to my college’s first year (Yeah yeah….Engineering 😅)
But it wasn’t that horrible. The results were out of 1st year and some of my friends scored well, they got an increase in their TGPA while most of, have a decrease in their TGPA. And I scored the same TGPA as scored before. Now I should be happy that at least there was no decrease in marks but I was feeling sad and tensed and again that fear was there. I said to myself “No….. Why??”. This time, instead of being sad, I decided to cope the fear. I started thinking about it. And after a long cerebration, I came to know that I have a wrong perception towards life. I have had ‘THE FEAR OF JUDGEMENT’.
It is an intense, persistent fear of being judged by others. What will my aunt say, what he/ she will think of me??…..etc.

I believe that FEAR is the single biggest obstacle that holds people back from fulfilling their potential and becoming the best version of themselves. And in my case, obstacle was the society and their judging mentality, which controlled my mind.
BUT NOT ANYMORE.

Remember, You have reasons to feel downhearted, but also you have strong opposing reasons to be felicitous. It’s your choice, what to choose?
So just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. If you are sad, depressed, it’s your own fault. You can choose not to be. Get out of your head. What I have learned is, always choose to be happy, it’s your life and no one can control it. Choose to change your mind. Think out of the box (sadness, depression) into which you have chosen to place yourself. You may never be able to fix others, but you can willfully and beautifully choose to fix yourself. Nobody else can. Choose to be the best and do the best that you can. If somebody else have a problem with you, it’s their choice.

OK in the end,
“BADAL RAHE HAI KUCH KHAYAL AB MERE
ULAJHTI DUNIYA MEIN SULAJH RAHI HOON MEIN
ANDHERI RAATON SE NIKAL KAR,
UJALE MEIN ROSHAN HONE CHAL PADI HOON MEIN
UTH KHADI HO GYI HOON MEIN
LOGON KO BHOOL KAR
WAKHT KO BHOOL KAR
JEENA SEEKHNE CHAL PADI HUN MEIN”
😊Thank You 😊

–TASTE THE THUNDER-